My life? It’s consumed with so much. Good stuff though. Incredible stuff, actually.
My marriage? It’s back on track.. yay for unconditional love, right?
For the next 2 weeks my life is seriously busy – but after that – I think I’ll be able to actually blog. Maybe?
xo
Grief has changed the person I am, the woman that I am and continue to be. It has changed the dynamics of my life and my family’s life forever. We have broken hearts, however – we have made an honest attempt of overcoming and persevering.
How have I changed personally?
I believe that I am more compassionate to others when it comes to life situations. Suffering the loss of a child has not only opened my eyes but it has also opened my heart. Additionally, I feel drawn to those who understand my loss and to those who are going through their own trials.
I am a stronger advocate throughout my life and my family’s life – especially in circumstances that I feel compelled about making a change or a difference. I certainly am more of a voice for what I believe in.
I find that my priorities have changed to reflect what matters most to me now. Spending time with friends and family has become much more of a precedence in my life.
Friendships have changed. People that I have been close with throughout my life have distanced themselves from myself and my family, often times they were worried about what to say or how to act after the loss of our son. That in itself adds to the grief. Not only was I dealing with the loss of a child, but dealing with the loss of friendships. Incredibly heartbreaking.
I cherish my friends and family. I am fortunate to have a close tight knit group of people who know me and love me and can respect the days that I cry, the days that my heart hurts the most and the days I want to do nothing else but talk about Tyler. Rekindling a friendship from my childhood has proven to be just what my heart needed. That person, thankfully – is a forever friend.
My marriage has been strengthened. Our love is forgiving, deep and understanding. We have persevered through the worst of the worst. We have held tight to each other and our marriage. We are stronger than ever. I am proud to be his wife; he is an incredible husband and father.
I may be a more cautious Mom, fearful at times and even bordering on overly protective. However, I try to be a supportive and loving Mom. I hope that someday our son will look back and see that. I am proud of the young man he has become. He is such amazing kid who has suffered such a horrible loss in his young life.
I try to find the joy in everyday, in everyone and everything. I honestly cherish life and try to never take anything for granted. Ever.
“Have faith and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you believe.” – Unknown
*Also posted at 5 Minutes for Special needs
ooops – I totally did NOT follow directions. I posted this post 2 days ago..
Here is my post for the {W}rite of Passage : another chance to get it right
*I am by NO means a writer, but I strive to be better. That is why I want to do {W}rite of Passage.
What is Project {12} you ask?
I love photography. Love. But clearly, I am not a professional, just a girl who loves taking a picture or 2. So, ONCE a month I am going to post one of my favorite and current picture. Hence the name Project {12} , 12 months, get it? heh.
Yes, that was me trying to be witty. Meh, never hurts to try.
This is part of my *plan* for the new year – to follow through. To see something to the END.
This picture was taken on New Years Day – from my back door. I absolutely love it . I love that you can see part of the plants underneath the snow, like a promise – that’ still there, waiting.
Well, Happy NEW Year!
I’ve sat right here in front of my laptop and read a ton of blogs on how this year is going to be different, the resolutions that will be made or the un-resolutions ( a blog post which I love) and I’ve went back and re-read some of my very own posts from 2009. Boy was I ever a Debbie Downer . Blah.
Actually – there are a few posts that I feel like deleting – because I feel that they are very hurtful.. However, that’s what my heart was feeling at the time so – I’m in limbo about deleting .
I normally don’t make resolutions for the new year. Why? Simple. I never follow through with them. EVER. I can’t recall a year that I have stuck to my guns and completed a resolution. Failure isn’t something I want to continue doing, I mean come on, WHO likes to keep failing. Perhaps I can call it something else? Maybe resolution is a word that I link to failing year after year? Perhaps listing them here will hold me more accountable – and I’m hoping by doing so , I can look back on 2010 and SEE that changes were made.
So – in no particular order ..
* Recommit myself to being healthy. I need to lose .. I WANT to lose.
* Worry less
* Love more
* Blog once a day ( or so)
* Start taking pictures again
* Be honest with my feelings
This list could go on and on – but some of very personal and are kept deep inside my heart . I’m ready. I’m ready for a New Year. A New Year , another chance to get it right.
