grief has changed me
January 5, 2010
Grief has changed the person I am, the woman that I am and continue to be. It has changed the dynamics of my life and my family’s life forever. We have broken hearts, however – we have made an honest attempt of overcoming and persevering.
How have I changed personally?
I believe that I am more compassionate to others when it comes to life situations. Suffering the loss of a child has not only opened my eyes but it has also opened my heart. Additionally, I feel drawn to those who understand my loss and to those who are going through their own trials.
I am a stronger advocate throughout my life and my family’s life – especially in circumstances that I feel compelled about making a change or a difference. I certainly am more of a voice for what I believe in.
I find that my priorities have changed to reflect what matters most to me now. Spending time with friends and family has become much more of a precedence in my life.
Friendships have changed. People that I have been close with throughout my life have distanced themselves from myself and my family, often times they were worried about what to say or how to act after the loss of our son. That in itself adds to the grief. Not only was I dealing with the loss of a child, but dealing with the loss of friendships. Incredibly heartbreaking.
I cherish my friends and family. I am fortunate to have a close tight knit group of people who know me and love me and can respect the days that I cry, the days that my heart hurts the most and the days I want to do nothing else but talk about Tyler. Rekindling a friendship from my childhood has proven to be just what my heart needed. That person, thankfully – is a forever friend.
My marriage has been strengthened. Our love is forgiving, deep and understanding. We have persevered through the worst of the worst. We have held tight to each other and our marriage. We are stronger than ever. I am proud to be his wife; he is an incredible husband and father.
I may be a more cautious Mom, fearful at times and even bordering on overly protective. However, I try to be a supportive and loving Mom. I hope that someday our son will look back and see that. I am proud of the young man he has become. He is such amazing kid who has suffered such a horrible loss in his young life.
I try to find the joy in everyday, in everyone and everything. I honestly cherish life and try to never take anything for granted. Ever.
“Have faith and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you believe.” – Unknown
*Also posted at 5 Minutes for Special needs
January 5th, 2010 at 9:56 am
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son, for all the frief you have been through, and will continue to go through. But I am so glad you can see the changes grief has brought to your life – that some good can come after the horrific.
January 5th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Grief may have changed you, but it doesn’t define you.
You are a beautiful person, this is a beautiful post. ((hugs))
Tug´s last blog ..Vintage
January 5th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Dawg’s biggest lessons he has passed to me:
Don’t sweat the small stuff — and it’s ALL small stuff. (I have a hard time with that one sometimes.)
Life is short, so live it now and be happy.
People who have distanced themselves from you: Forgive them. They don’t know how to cope, how to help you, and therefore do not. Letting go of them gives you room for more people who do want to be in your life.
Poppy´s last blog ..No longer
January 11th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
This is gorgeous. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the grief of losing a child. I wish no mother ever did, anywhere. I know exactly what you mean about feeling more compassionate about others’ stories. I feel for people in a deeper, more meaningful way after living through some smaller griefs, I always think to myself, you don’t know their story.