my heart.. it’s confused ..so confused

September 26, 2009 Uncategorized

I don’t even know how to start this. I’ve deleted many many words and sentences so far. .

I’m trying to work through a marriage that seems to be crumbling in front of me. When I think of our relationship – I picture  fall leaves, blowing in the wind and having no where to stop, just swirling around and around.

I’m scared.  I’m scared of loss. I want this to work but I feel like I am not trying hard enough to keep it going on my end.

We love differently .. and I can’t explain that .

I’ve changed and so has he. . We try to get back to what we were and.. in actuality – it tears us further apart the harder we try.

He reads this blog.. and I know my words will hurt him..

I just don’t know what more to do.. my heart.. it’s confused.

simple.. yet, not so much

June 24, 2009 this is me and heart

Today we are out of town. A life changing decision is happening.. I am hoping to be able to have answers , if not today – by the weekend..

xoxoxo